Vaughn's Summaries logo  Vaughn's Summaries

Religion Summaries
Autobiographical Data

Columbia City, Oregon

Foursquare Gospel Church
Vaughn Aubuchon

30 miles north of Portland, OR
on the mighty Columbia River.



1. The Columbia River

The Foursquare Church

Obsessed with Jesus

The Age of Reason - 12

My Father's Fanaticism

My Vicious Stepmother

My Failure As A Father

Why Now (2014)?


1. The Columbia River

I first walked in the door in 1956, over 63 years ago. The "P" in the small yellow rectangle shows the location of the former parsonage, located right next door to the church.

Columbia City, Oregon
The great Columbia River of Oregon/ Washington
at Columbia City, is 35 times wider than the Jordan,
about 3,500 feet wide at this point.
(Satellite shot courtesy of Google.)
"The river Jordan is deep and wide, Hallelujah."
Average width = 100 feet
Of course, back then in Israel, they had no idea about the
Amazon, Mississippi, Columbia, etc.
but they did know about the Nile.
It was the Nile that was deep and wide.
The Jordan was, and is, a small stream.

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2. Columbia City, Oregon -
  Old Foursquare Church

Foursquare Gospel Church - Columbia City, Oregon
Old Foursquare Gospel church at
1955 2nd St., Columbia City, OR 97018 -
photo by Google Maps

(currently Calvary Chapel Fellowship, an old folks home just north of St. Helens, Oregon)
Highway 30 is just to the left of the photo. The Columbia River is just to the right.

Google has provided me with proof that the old Foursquare Church building still exists on Second St. at H St. It is the reddish-roofed building up against the big white square in the middle of the photograph.

Whatever that big white square is today, it was the parsonage 50 years ago.
Directly behind it is the "annex" (added 1943), where bible classes, songfests and potlucks were held.

Foursquare Gospel Church - Columbia City, Oregon
Columbia City, Oregon Foursquare Church -
circa 1955

There was plenty of Hell's fire from the pulpit of Rev. John Wheeler (1955-1962).
When he left in 1962, something "funny" had happened (financially?).
Dad switched to the
Church of the Nazarene in St. Helens.
He never discussed what had happened. But then, he never discussed anything.

Columbia City Foursquare Church - 1940
Columbia City Foursquare Church - 1940-?

The river never got THAT high. Did they lower it at some point, or fill underneath it with dirt? Bizarre.

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3. Obsessed with Jesus
How Obsession Can Make You Stupid

3a. The Rules of the Foursquare Gospel
No sex, no sex and NO SEX.
No smoking.
No drinking (It was blasphemy to quote one scripture - "a little wine for thy stomach's sake." I had to ignore that one, or get yelled at, i.e., "Don't get smart-alecky.")
No playing cards (Old Maid was OK, but a standard deck of playing cards was inherently evil, and possessed by the devil.)
No dancing (excuse for sexual proximity, leads directly to copulation)
No picture shows or theater of any kind (darkness, sex)

My dad went a few steps further, to thwart the devil -
No bowling - smoking and drinking were present.
No school sports - socialization would occur.
No parties - sex may be present or discussed.
No learner's permit until I was 18 - everybody else was driving, but not me.
Only 3 activities were acceptable - manual labor, fishing, and hunting --- or, restated, work, killing and killing. I remember that my father gave me 2 things when I was 12 - a bible and a rifle. I could go out and shoot anything I wanted, and I did. ANYTHING, to distract from the thought of copulation.

3b. Church Life - Compliance by Force
Reverend John Wheeler was the pastor in 1956-1962. He had a nice wife Leona, and two young children - a boy and a girl.

Each week required 5 visits to the church -
1- Sunday morning services - Sunday school + sermon
2- Sunday evening services - sermon + altar call
3- Tuesday night choir practice
4- Wednesday night bible study
5- Thursday night prophecy - Sister MacFarland would interpret the book of Revelation, first in tongues, followed immediately by the English translation "My little ones, my little ones, ... etc." And her daughters Claire and Janet would sing hymns. Their brother Jim MacFarland, who is 6 years older than I, became my father's de facto adopted son, since he swallowed the dogma, and I did not. I suspect that Jim did all the inheriting, since I was the spawn of the devil. My father had built over 300 houses, in and about St. Helens and Columbia City. No reason to supplement the wicked.

In 1956 and 1957, the Reverend Wheeler supplemented his church income by
driving a school bus. My bus. Dad did not think that I got enough religion 5 times a week. So, he made me get up early each morning, and had me ride up Bunker Hill, alone with Wheeler, to the top of his route. This enabled the reverend to pound on me relentlessly that I must be "born again", or burn forever in hell.

Sorry, Rev. Wheeler. My first birth worked fine. I don't need another based upon man-made dogma and 1,000 year old fairy tales about a man who lives in the sky, and no one has ever seen.

3c. Twisted Focus - Sex and Sin
What bothered me the most about the Foursquare religion was the rigid adherence to doctrine, to the exclusion of logic, compassion, and human communication. The hatred of SIN and the fear of SEX transcended all else. This life has only one purpose - to determine your reward or punishment in the NEXT life. The more you thought about sex, the hotter the flames will be. Unbelievable repression! And we weren't even Catholics! (Ha-ha.)

The primary, overriding precept of the Foursquare Church, is the denial of reality. Human sexuality is the biggest boogie man of all. I heard far more about fornication, than I ever heard about murder. The Bible describes all kinds of righteous killing, but condemns fornication relentlessly. Talk about mixed-up priorities.
What is really bad is defined as good.
What is good is redefined as bad.

If I had ever uttered the word p@nis, v@gina or m@sturbation, I would have been splattered against the wall. Sexual arousal and copulation was the greatest evil conceivable, and must never be discussed, ever, anywhere.

3d. Ignorance Is A Badge of Honor
Ignorance was encouraged. Reason did not exist - just blind obedience. My attempting to reason resulted in a rapid "hush-up". Dinosaur skeletons could not be discussed - according to the Bible, the earth is only 6,000 years old, and Adam was created in 4004 BC. Discussion over. And God forbid the asking of the most vexing unanswered question. Where did Cain and Abel's wives come from? I smell incest. Obviously, their sisters, or worse yet, their mother. They have a word for that.

College attendance was frowned upon. It took you away from God, by filling you with the lies of evolution and scientific reason. Archaeology and geology were to be shunned, and anything else that tried to replace 2,000-year-old religious myths with fact.

3e. Faith is the Answer to Distasteful Reality
FAITH is the answer! Faith is the suspension of disbelief - the denial of the obvious. Unfortunately, religious faith requires the abandonment of logic. Without logic, anything can be believed.

Nothing has changed, except the introduction of the term "intelligent design".
"Don't try to confuse me with scientific facts, my mind is made up."
Beliefs are no truer because of how long they are held.
"It has always been this way."
Exactly. It has always been wrong.

God told Abraham to kill his son? - Absurd -
     - Abraham was a psychopath, and needed some lithium.
Virgin Birth? - Absurd. Never happened.
Resurrection from Death? - Absurd. Never happened.
6,000 year-old earth? - Absurd. Try 4.8 billion years.
900-year life spans? - Absurd.
15,000 feet deep floods - Absurd. No geological record.
The sea shell fossils found at 20,00 feet were NOT the result of flooding, but they didn't know about continental drift and the uplifting of the earth's crust over millions of years.

Word of God? - Ridiculous. First, there was the
Council of Nicia. Then another. Then another. Seven in all, at which MEN voted on what was to be in the Bible (canon), and what was not (antilegomina, pseudepigrapha, apocrypha). If a book didn't fit with the others, it was thrown out. The Bible was written by the VOTES OF MEN. Assembled, CENTURIES after the fact, from writings which were very tenuous and CENTURIES OLD to begin with.

3f. Angry, Vindictive God
Don't you think that GOD is a bit above the traits and frailties of humans?

I reject the concept of an angry, vindictive God, who is going to test you, and if you fail, is going to torture you with hellfire FOREVER. This concept is based upon fear, ignorance, and blind obedience, certainly not love or reason. How can a "conversion" be valid, when it is based solely upon instilling abject fear. "Do as I say, or you will burn in hell forever." How could ANY God derive satisfaction from worshippers, who were threatened to comply? An egomaniacal being, who demands obedience to various arbitrary religious constructs of man? Of which there are hundreds? There are
HUNDREDS of Protestant sects, all of which got it wrong, except one - "MINE"! Oh, sure. Do you believe that?

"You have free will." But, if you exercise it, plan on burning in Hell.

3g. Faith Healing
One incident sticks out in my mind. Just praying for the afflicted was never enough. The healing had to be tested. Immediately.

One young man came to church with crutches. Let's call him Arne. Seeing an afflicted person screamed out for divine healing. He was a cement truck driver, who had an incident with his truck. It turned over, and he wasn't quite able to jump free. The cab came down on his ankle. He had just had his cast removed.

The Reverend Wheeler went through the procedure, as demonstrated by Peter Popoff on TV. The palm of the hand is placed FIRMLY against the forehead of the afflicted, and the demand is made - "Heal! Heal! Heal!" (The word "please" is never involved, which seems weird to me). After a brief pause, "Are you healed? Throw down your crutch, brother." And then came the part I loved. "Jump on it, brother, jump on it". And Arne did.

Sure enough, next Sunday Arne came to church, with a huge new cast on his leg. Then they said what they always say, "He didn't have enough faith." It is never God's fault. It is always the failure of the afflicted.
Angelus Temple maintained a room full of devine-healing proof - abandoned casts, crutches, wheelchairs, etc.

3h. Aimee Was Different from Her Flock
Aimee Semple McPherson founded the International Church of the Foursquare Gospel in 1917. She built Angeles Temple in Los Angeles in 1923. Strangely, she was not a freak about sexual repression, but all of her followers certainly were. I guess her followers needed to differentiate themselves through piety, which seems to require the condemnation of others, as a basic philosophy. When your self-esteem is low, you continually denigrate others, to raise yourself.

3i. A Change in Direction
The Foursquare Church has always been perceived as fanaticism, and called "Holy Rollers". So much so, that they now STRESS that they are NOT fanatics, on their website. On their What We Believe (since altered and renamed) page, they now state, under "Moderation" - "We believe that Christians should avoid excess and that their moderation should be obvious to others. Their commitment to Christ should be deep and sincere, but they should not indulge in or lead other people into extremes of fanaticism." My father was not aware of this change. He was strictly "old school" all the way. Beat them into submission, and tolerate no backtalk, or rational thought.

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4. The Age of Reason - Age 12

Up until age 12, I was raised by my mom in West Los Angeles with a bunch of smart Jewish kids. As far as my father turning me into a retrograde idiot, that wasn't going to happen. Once enlightened, I wasn't about to embrace stupidity by force, mental torture, denial of social interaction, or anything else. My father had no concept of human nature, and he simply was going to shove Jesus down my throat, all the way down, no matter what.

Don't try to lay no boogie-woogie on the King of Rock and Roll. It just ain't gonna fly, when raised with Los Angeles intellectuals. The damage had been done. There was no going back to ignorance.


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5. My Father's Fanaticism

When fantasy replaces reality.
"We may be forced to be in this world, but we do not have to be "OF" this world." In other words, ignore reality, and cling to religious dogma.

Remove the child from the world as much as possible. Prevent any unnecessary interaction with others unless required by state law. Isolate the child from any and all activities not specifically required by school attendance law. Prevent social development by stopping any social activity. Avoid any display of affection, which is simply weakness.

My father was colder than ice, with no human empathy whatsoever. This may be the result of all the dead bodies he saw in France in 1944, and the guy who was obliterated next to him, when the mortar shifted slightly, and blasted him away when the shell hit the stone wall next to the window they were shooting through..

Earthly happiness must be avoided. It means that you are not being humble and pious enough, and you will burn in hell for it. You will burn in hell for just about anything you do. My father's upbringing must have been terribly miserable, having an evangelical preacher for a mother. And
HER mother, who was from the Texas Bible Belt. I can only guess. He wouldn't talk about it. Or anything else.


1956 - Sent to Oregon
Because I was screwing up in school at age 12, due to my frustration with my sister's leukemia, my Mom sent me to St. Helens, OR to live with my father for 7th grade, whom I had not seen since 1950 (age 6).

- Super Indoctrination
As if going to church 5 times a week wasn't enough, my father thought I needed more. The Reverend Wheeler needed to supplement his income, so he drove the school bus on my Bunker Hill route. My father arranged for him to pick me up going UP the hill, before he picked up the first student at the top. This way, he could bombard me with the fear of God, all the way up the hill, with no others present.

For 3 weeks, I was forced to pick strawberries, every day from 6 AM to noon. I foolishly thought I would be able to spend MY MONEY that I had earned. NO way. Instead, he sent me to a torture religious indoctrination camp in the Sierras, where it was religion 24 hours a day. It was the
Old Oak Ranch in Sonora, CA.

1958 - 8th Grade Basketball
The principal of Yankton Grade School, Jack DeLashmutt, had to make a special visit to beg my dad to let me play on the basketball team. He got my dad to relent. How, I will never know.

1959 - "Whip That Boy, Fred."
In Junior High, there would be no more sports for me. I was becoming more buffed (sexual), which required that I be worked harder and longer.

One particular incident stands out. Once, in the kitchen, when dad wasn't around for whipping, she grabbed my hair with both hands, and shook my head back-and-forth as hard as she could. Such fun.

Another incident stands out. I had performed some infraction which escapes me now. When my dad came home from work, she shouted out, "Whip that boy, Fred". My father dutifully began removing his belt, and heading straight for me, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING what I had done. Not this time. I took off for the woods, thus postponing the inevitable beating until later that night. I received small gratification that I could now easily outrun him. Beating me into submission was still standard procedure at age 15.

1960 - Back to Los Angeles
I was sent back to my Mom and step-father in Los Angeles, and lived at 3559 Veteran Ave. again, where I lived when my little sister was dying.
I attended 10th grade at Hamilton High on Robertson Blvd.
Dan Aron was my best friend at Hamilton.
Our interests were basketball, amateur radio and Joan Adelman, not necessarily in that order.

1961 - Step father was transferred to San Francisco.
So we moved to San Mateo, where I attended
Hillsdale High.
My stepfather was transferred to Florida, so I was once again sent back to Oregon.


1962 - Back to Oregon Hell
I lived on Aubuchon Dr., and attended SHSHS.

1962 - I Gotta Get Out of Here
My dad never heard a word I said, if he didn't like it. I had graduated from St. Helens Senior High School, and I wanted OUT! Dad expected me to work for him forever, for $1.50 an hour. I HAD to get his attention. So, I grabbed the green fireproof box from his closet. He was on the roof of the house next door that he was building, so he couldn't get at me right away.

"Hey, dad, what do you think of this?". I started pulling out the deeds, pink slips and the rest, and lit them on fire. It worked. He FINALLY caught on. He cosigned the car loan for me, which enabled me to get the hell out of there, and escape to California, from the tyranny of religion. One of the documents was a sworn statement from a female church parishioner who claimed to have seen my mother with a drunken sailor when he was in France. I think he had saved and cherished that, proving his sanctity, and proving that he was NOT my father.

1963 - Back to California
            Dad Tried to Steal My Car

I finally got my driver's license (I was 19), and a 1955 Chevy. There were 7 payments of $70. As soon as I was able, I blasted out of St. Helens, Oregon, for San Mateo, CA. I was living in my car, in the Sears parking lot, next to Edison St.
Freedom at last!!!
Not quite.
Six months later, I was enrolled at San Jose State, living in the basement of a friend Tim. One day, I came out of class, to find my father under my hood, ripping out the ignition wires. He had driven 600 miles down from St. Helens, Oregon to STEAL my car. FOR 20 D@MNED DOLLARS!

Fortunately, he did not know that I had a complete set of wires, distributor cap and rotor in my trunk. When he left to go around the corner to get his pickup with tow bar (parking was difficult on West San Carlos Blvd.), I fixed that car within 2 minutes, and got the hell out of there. I did not see him again until 1969, when
his father Frederic died.

I was 19 years old, for God's sake. LET GO!
He owed me $50, which he never paid me. So I did not make my final car payment of $70. $20 was sufficient reason to leave me stranded.
In my father's mind, THIS WAS JUSTIFICATION to tow my car back to Oregon, and keep it. And leave me stranded. He absolutely could not let me go - he was hell-bent to dominate and suppress me forever, with his religious bunkum.

I didn't see him until 6 years later.

1969 - Trip to Oregon
            My Dad's Father Died

I drove my wife, 2-year-old son, and newborn daughter up to St. Helens, OR for the funeral, to meet my phony, sweet-talking stepmother, and their 2 recently adopted girls, Nina and Marcella.

What I remember from the funeral, was that my father was emotionally not there. He must have hated his father, who always doted upon me, in my father's absence (he moved to Oregon to avoid paying child support). I suspect there was long-standing hatred there, probably resulting from my grandfather's pre-salvation behavior - he was a late convert, in spite of being married to a preacher. I suspect he "went along", to "get along".

Alas, religion provided no comfort to my ex-preacher grandma, who also doted upon me. She lost it. She had entirely covered the kitchen and living room walls with quotes from the bible, using colored chalk.

I know that grampa and grandma had sex twice, because my father had a sister, Jeanne Pethel (nee Aubuchon). Jeanne cursed like a sailor (she married one), chain-smoked, and blasphemed the religion. She was particularly fond of "sh|t", "GD It" and "soab", I recall. These words would pour forth whenever her father or mother was around. She was in the escrow field, and died early, due to lung cancer. Near Sacramento, I believe.

I am not sure grampa and grandma ever had sex a third time. Such was the religion.

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5.5 Father - Addendum

Free Thought
There wasn't any. My father had no intention of ever letting me think for myself.
What I thought did not matter. If my father didn't agree, it was WRONG. Period.
I was never permitted to disagree with him.
Since he was guided by Jesus, he was never wrong.
ALL fact was rejected, if his religious dogma differed.
My father never apologized for anything. Ever.

Total Sexual Repression
--- Consumed by others copulating, thinking about copulation.
--- Having sexual thoughts seemed equivalent to murder.
--- Total denial of human sensuality.
--- I don't recall the commandment, -
     "Thou shalt not think about sex, EVER".

Unconditional Love?
--- It didn't exist. If you didn't profess Jesus,
     then you were nothing.
--- Reminds me of Texans -
     "If you ain't from Texas, then you ain't sh|t."
     The same mentality, and utter lack of intelligence.
--- It was Jesus way, or the highway -
     - no acceptance without Jesus.

Total Indoctrination
--- "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." ... Proverbs 22:6
My father's interpretation -
--- Repress and suppress every aspect of the child's life.
--- Ram crazy religion down his throat CONSTANTLY.
--- If he brings up scientific fact, tell him to shut up.
--- Call him a "know-it-all", and a "smart-mouth".
--- Dinosaurs and geologic time are taboo subjects.
--- ANYTHING at odds with the Bible is taboo

Everything Must Be Believed by Faith
--- "Faith" meant the abandonment of logic, and the clinging to ancient fairy tales, all of which were patently absurd. All scientific evidence to the contrary was rejected, because it was created by the devil himself, for the sole purpose of misleading us.

He Refuses to Spell My Name Properly
TO THIS DAY, he writes my name as Von -
     I am not a German. My name is Vaughn. That's Irish.
--- More denial of reality -
     refuses to spell my name properly.
--- Probably because it was my mother who had named
     me (after Vaughn Monroe, the singer).
Mom was extremely bright.
     Imaging them together is impossible for me.


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6. My Vicious Stepmother

6a. 1956-1959, 1962
She hated my guts, and never missed an opportunity to let me know it. Daily. She never spoke to me, she only snarled. She ruined me for all other women on the planet. After she has been dead for 40 years, I still hate her.

Once, when I was 12, I pronounced the word mosaic incorrectly, having never encountered it before. It is the hardest she had ever laughed. She brought it up for years, always laughing equally hard. And she delighted in pounding me with it endlessly. She made the most of it. She was a vindictive witch. That was the only time that she ever really "got me", because my IQ was arguably 40 points higher than hers.

Because of her, I will NEVER take any cr@p from any woman, EVER. That bitch/ witch made me crazy. My poor innocent wife suffered so, due to my rage. Her only "fault" - her hair color was the same as my step-mother's. If only there was something I could do to go back and fix this. I must carry this guilt to the grave. One more reason to hate that witch.

My "saved" church-pianist stepmother from Vinton, Iowa had no problems treating me like dirt - I was an owned, disobedient slave. She had many endearing terms for me, among which were "fathead", "mister", "you", and "that boy". But never my name, which would be too much of an acknowledgment of my existence. Her tone of voice was ALWAYS mean and nasty, barking out orders at me, "Get down here, mister!" Unless, of course, when we were at church, where she dripped saccharine. Forever condemning others for being "two-faced", she held the title of "The Queen of Two-faced Women", in my mind.

In church, I was forced to sit directly behind her (pianist) in the front pew, as if I required constant surveillance. She could quickly give me the evil eye, if she perceived I had stepped out of line.

She was the most two-faced woman I have ever encountered. Dripping with sweetness if anyone was around, then immediately switching to vicious shrew the minute we were alone. She loved to pull out her hanky while sitting at the piano during prayer. Fake. She never wept in her life.

Such was her hatred toward me. I guess I was a constant reminder that dad had a previous wife, which galled her to the bone, and made her insufferable, ever spewing bile and hatred toward me. Her inability to conceive galled her, coupled with my presence which constantly reminded her that my dad had no reproductive disorder, but she did. Nothing could live inside that acidic body.

6b. The Hypocrisy
Rev. Wheeler preached love, but the reality was that there was precious little love to be found. No kindness, no smiling, no humor, no being happy - just mindless condemnation and fear of sin.

As long as you were "saved", other things seemed to escape scrutiny. Such as constantly condemning others for their lack of piety. And stressing their eventual doom, and eternal torture in the Lake of Fire. The most common way of elevating one's own righteousness, was through the condemnation of others.

And the blacks and Mexicans - lazy, low class, thieving, fornicating. Funny, since there wasn't a single one of either within 30 miles (Portland). And the gossip about white people. "This one got pregnant out of wedlock, and that one is about to, etc., etc. It is just disgusting the way these people behave." There would be little to discuss, were it not for other people fornicating, and contemplating fornication. And speculating about others contemplating fornication.

Mariana died in 1983, one week after diagnosis, riddled with cancer, no doubt caused by her acidic constitution. This was during my cocaine period. I have now outlived her by 37 years. Thank you, Jesus. There is some justice.


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7. My Failure As A Father

7a. My Failure
I always swore NEVER to be like my father. As time goes by, I realize more and more how badly I have failed.

Where I succeeded -
--- I never tried to force religious bullspit on my kids
--- I never tried to force anything else upon them
--- They were always going to be FREE to make their own decisions
Unfortunately, that was not nearly enough.

Where I failed -
Having not received love, only criticism and suppression -
--- I never learned to express love to my children
------ Either verbally or physically
------ My son hasn't spoken to me since 2005

My father was extremely distant due to religious fanaticism, and fear of intimacy. He could offer me no encouragement or praise - only criticism and condemnation.

7b. My Biological Mom
My mother was extremely distant due to dozens of "shock-treatments", or "electro-convulsive therapy", between the ages of 18-21. NO ONE has ever told me why. NOTHING I can conceive of would justify such torture. Tourette's? Wanton promiscuity? She was a budding concert pianist. I think she was just too smart, and they couldn't handle it. Be extremely wary of the medical profession. THEY STILL DO THIS! Manufacture zombies, in the name of medical treatment. Next step, lobotomy. JFKs sister Rosemary.
Rosemary was too slow.
My mom was too bright.
Neither fit society's norms, and had to be dealt with.

7c. My Kids
Why now, in 2014? I would like to try to explain to my son why I failed him so miserably. I had no love or encouragement from my father - which rendered me incapable of being a proper father myself. I wasn't mean and vindictive to my son - just utterly clueless about nurturing him, and offering him the proper support that he deserved. Thank God that daughters love their daddies anyway. It was my daughter that taught me how to love, without any religion involved.

I have always loved my son and daughter. But I have been a miserable father at showing it, due to the religious hatred that was jammed down my throat. Result? I have no further need for any religion. The world would be a much better place, without so many self-appointed sanctimonious meddlers telling you how to run your life. "Convert or Die!" I think not. The Catholic Church tried that for 200 years during the Inquisition of the Dark Ages.

The life of a regular, normal person has much greater appeal to me.


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8. Why Now?

8a. Therapy
How long should a person wait to tell their father that they don't agree with him AT ALL, never have, never will, and that they think he is a crazy lunatic? 5 years? 10 years? How about 50?

In my case, it is 50 years. At 92, I was afraid that he would die, without me ever having confronted him, about torturing me with the most spiteful woman on the face of the earth. I could not allow this to happen. I would never feel whole or complete until I did this.

Freedom from tyranny! Fifty years of pretending it didn't happen - BULLSPIT. He let that woman torture me for years, with no intervention. She treated me like sh|t, and he encouraged it through his acquiescence, with his alder and willow switches and WW2 German Army belt as the enforcers.

He MUST be made aware of his utter lack of empathy for me, and "blinded by Jesus" intoxication. He MUST not be permitted to go to his grave, while laboring under his crazed belief that everything was "just fine". NOTHING was ever just fine. It wasn't then, isn't now, and never will be. Because he was only capable of hearing the sound of his own voice.

8b. My Status
I was my father's BIOLOGICAL spawn, but I was NEVER -
--- his IDEOLOGICAL spawn
--- his PHILOSOPHICAL spawn
--- his RELIGIOUS spawn.
He just thought I should be, and he was going to do everything he could do to make sure I was his clone. NO WAY.

For the first time in my life, I now hereby declare myself free from religious tyranny, indoctrination and ignorance.


I believe that
religion is responsible for more misery, pain, suffering and death over the centuries than anything else, with the possible exception of plague and malaria. Just look to Syria and Afghanistan, for a current example. The 200 years of the inquisition. Condemning and killing those who will not convert to your religion.

"My God is correct, yours is wrong. Let's kill each other." And it will never stop. It is the nature of the beast. Denigrating others to raise yourself above them. Condemning other's behavior because YOU don't like it. Believing that everyone should think and believe just like you. The very essence of the southern states.



The complete lack and suppression of intellectual curiosity.
... Abandonment of logic ... no logic allowed.
... Ignore easily provable physical facts.
... A 6,000 year old Earth
... Logic is a tool of the devil, used to lead man astray.
... CRUSH free thought - a tool of the devil

Believing a book that was written by dozens of ancient people, YEARS after the events described. And years later, edited by HUNDREDS of people in DOZENS of different versions. NO BIBLE authors were eye witnesses to anything.

FAITH (Denial of Logic)
Basing beliefs upon dogma that is rammed down your throat.
... Dogma invented by humans.
... The more outrageous the claim, the more validation of the religion.
Astronomy, paleontology, geology are all tools of the devil. Avoid and criticize higher learning, which is the road to Hell.

Avoid Sin, and Hence Sinners
Not having to try, and ignoring the humanity of others on Earth, because you are special, and have been singled out to go to Heaven in an afterlife, which has never been proven to exist.
Others are doomed to Hell, so why bother about them? Don't associate with them, because they will pull you down.

Spread Falsehoods
Relentless indoctrination of children with fairy tale beliefs.
... Virgin birth (borrowed from earlier religions)
... Rising from the dead (borrowed from earlier religion)
... Worldwide flood, 18,000 feet deep. (borrowed from Gilgamesh epic)
... Warp their minds when they are young, and chastise them severely if they express any doubt. (Beat sense into them - it's God's way.)

Who Is Included?
... Catholics (the worst, invented the most stuff)
... Evangelical Christians - Intolerant
... Muslims - Intolerant to the point of killing infidels

Who Is Not Included?
... Buddhists (they have their own issues)
... Hinduism (they have their own issues)

Just MEAN, No Empathy

Looking back, I don't think my father was named properly.
He should have been named Stern.
Stern Disapproval. All he wanted to do was suppress me, in every way.

I think it is the Father-Son Disease.
(being incapable of nurturing a son)

My grandfather gave it to my father,
My father gave it to me,
I gave it to my son, and
My son is currently giving it to his son, Taj.
(Todd And Joni) He is 14 now, lives in Santa Cruz, and we have never met.
I knocked on their door last month (Oct. 2019), and my son Todd answered the door, sighed with disgust, and slammed the door shut.
I heard from outside - Todd instructed his son, "Don't answer the door." I left.

Of course, no one at the time realizes that they are doing it. Only later, when it is too late, do they see the profound error of their ways, and the hopelessness of ever being able to correct them.

That is the true pain of old age.
Bad decisions. Opportunity missed.

My apologies to those who wrote to me back in 2014, when I first removed this page, and did not respond to you. I recently found one of your letters.

Once I escaped from Oregon, I did go crazy, in typical PK fashion (Preacher's Kid).

My father
died on April 2, 2018 at the age of 97, thus freeing me from the fantasy fear that he was always just across the road in the woods, with his 30-06 scope pointed at my head, ready to free me from Satan's grasp.

You think that is crazy?
You didn't know my father.

The old Foursquare Church in Columbia City , OR, has been converted into an
old folks home, which is described on Google.
On the Foursquare website TODAY, they say that THINKING will lead you to the devil. I will NEVER go for that philosophy.



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Tags: 1962, blind belief in dogma, child intellectual abuse,
creationism vs. natural history, denial of reality, evangelical lunacy,
fantasy over fact, mental torture, religious fanaticism,
religious hypocrisy, religious stupidity, right wing hatred,
sexual repression, vicious stepparent

Have A Great Day!
(After that? You gotta be kidding!)
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