Vaughn's Summaries logo  Vaughn's Summaries

Art/ Entert. Summaries
Media Consumption

How To Watch TV

Avoid TV Commercials Entirely
Vaughn Aubuchon

It is not easy to watch TV without suffering TV commercials.
I prefer to avoid commercials.
I am an ZERO-Commercial zealot.



If you are like me, you MUST AVOID obnoxious ads. This requires an operating remote control, within instant reach.

How many years have you been bombarded with incessant, repetitious mind-numbing TV commercials. Don't allow them to continue blasting your mind into a senseless state. Rebel. Like me. Here is my advice.


Be A ZERO-Commercial Zealot
Can't go full tilt?

How to
Avoid TV commercial sound

Watch Only Comm.-Free Movies

Biggest Problem with TV Ads


top of page

     OPTION 1.
     Become A

     Zero-Commercial Zealot -


Try this technique (mine). (You must be alone to use this technique, or you will drive others around you crazy). If you are seriously watching TV, and not also online, as I usually am, tell yourself forcefully, NO COMMERCIALS. The remote control must be in your hand, or within inches.

As soon as any commercial whatsoever comes on, immediately advance to the next channel in your sequence, whether it is sequential, or your own selected list menu. This technique is clearly for hunter-males, and not for nesting-females, per Seinfeld's Larry David.

This technique has several advantages -
1. You never have to listen to a commercial, saving 18 minutes per hour for other info

2. You never get bored - you must be attentive.

3. You broaden your horizons, and are not as ill-informed as previously.

4. You will get exposed to things you would not normally see.

5. You are far less likely to enter an hypnotic trance.



Don't be a cowering, submissive zombie/slave/victim/prey.

Do the opposite of what you are told.

"YOU the PREY, will comply with our wishes."


ALWAYS change the channel, when told not to change the channel.

Here are the SECRET CODE WORDS telling you to change the channel IMMEDIATELY. -

"After the break ..."
"Coming up next ..."
"Don't change the channel." (HLN)
"Don't go anywhere." (Vinnie Politan)
"Don't go away." (Vinnie Politan)
"Don't touch that remote."
"Don't turn the channel." (HLN)
"Hang in." (Jane Velez-Mitchell)
"Keep it here."
"More after this." (Dr. Drew)
"More on the other side." (Jane Velez-Mitchell)
"Right after this."
"Right after this message."
"Stay right here." (Vinnie Politan)
"Stay with us." (Dr. Drew)
"Stick Around."
"We'll be right back."
"We'll have more, on the other side."
"We'll show you, right after the break."
"When we return"
"You need to stay with us." (Dr. Drew)

"I would put a value on that of ..." (commercial) (American Pickers - super manipulative; I won't watch at all, now. They drove me away forever.)

Or, if you can't hack this technique, try -

top of page

     OPTION 2.

      If you must watch an entire program

RULE #1.
Remote Control

You must not attempt to watch TV without The Remote Control in your left hand, most of the time, if you are right-handed. Use your right hand to do everything else.

The Mute Button is the greatest invention in all the history of mankind. Use it mercilessly. ALWAYS mute every commercial. You have already seen 20,000 hours of this mind-control drivel. Do you wan more?



RULE #2.
Remote Control Proximity

If you can't manage RULE #1, at least make sure that the Remote Control is within inches of your hand at all times.

Be attentive and poised to hit the (Un) Mute Button as soon as the 6 or 8 commercials are over. This ensures that you will not miss any of the program.


RULE #3.
Personality Avoidance

(This rule is political and psychological.)

Beginning of tirade.

Some television personalities I simply cannot stand.
My personal "zap immediately" personalities consist of - 1. Nancy, 2. Suze, 3. Judy, 4. Bill, 5. Sean, 6. John, etc.
FOX News, by far, has the
biggest collection of deceivers on television. These purveyors of conservative propaganda are a collection of disingenuous, highly-paid, corporate lackeys, whose job is to propagandize you, not inform you.

End of tirade.


top of page


Just give up watching TV channels that show commercials.
Go to
Turner Classic Movies, and tune in to Robert Osborn. No commercials, except short ones for even better movies coming up soon. Drift back into time, and see how others lived 50 to 80 years ago - and how the movies reflected the times. Great stuff. The way they sucked up those cigarettes. Unbelievable!

My feelings? Old is best, the older, the better.
From 1915,
The Birth of a Nation is not to be missed.
Anything from the 1920's trumps everything else. The 1923 Abel Gance silent movie "
La Roue" (The Wheel) is not to be missed.

Here is my summary of
old movie studios.
The 1930's had just awesome films (Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz).
The 1940's had good films, as well (Casablanca, Citizen Kane, It's A Wonderful Life)
From the 1950's onward, it could go either way. But ALL the old stuff is great, if not just for historical reference and comparison, and a chance to vividly visit the past.



top of page


The biggest problem with TV commercials is their frequency. They make a BAD commercial, and then show it to you ENDLESSLY, every day, forever.

The genius ad execs think that you will buy their product, if they RAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT all day long. I think they are certifiable idiots, utterly lacking in imagination.

In my case, I make mental notes NEVER to buy products that P|SS me off EVERY DAY. THEY MAKE CERTAIN that I shall never buy their cr@p, by beating me senseless.

For example, I would KILL MYSELF, before I would EVER buy GEICO insurance. It simply astounds me that these geniuses never are able to figure this out. Their total blindness to common sense, establishes and defines their unbelievable ignorance.

I used to be limey neutral, but the d@mned GEICO lizard has changed that. I can NO LONGER tolerate a limey accent on my American TV. I IMMEDIATELY change the channel. They have done a great job of poisoning the waters. Eff GEICO forever.



top of page


There used to be a law about requiring the volume of the commercial to be no louder than the program. That law is OBVIOUSLY no longer enforced. Don't tolerate this for one second. ZAP them instantly.

The worst "zap immediately" obnoxious commercials are -

1. Every Car Commercial
      --- The most obnoxious ads of all are the car commercials, which ALWAYS turn up the volume 12 decibels. The Nissan Rogue commercial has the most obnoxious sound of all.

2. Every Car Insurance commercial
   --- 1. Geico
     --- A$$-hole Limey green reptile
      --- Americans are sick of him
   --- 2. Liberty Mutual
      --- Statue of Liberty in background
      --- Obnoxious machine-gun mouths
  --- 3. Farmer's
      --- Jerkface, know-it-all professor
At least with Flo, we get some humor.

3. Limey Pitchmen
   --- The limey pitchman (Anthony Sullivan) who screams in your face throughout the entire commercial (Oxiclean, Smart Mop, Sticky Buddy).

4. Drug commercials
      --- Endlessly listing the hundreds of BAD side effects that the drug will cause (Astrazenica, Eli Lilly, GSK, Merck, Pfizer, etc.).

OK. I get it already. I will NEVER take ANY of your
poison pills. I did before, but I won't now. The cure is always worse than the ailment. Thank you for driving that fact home.

How about you?



TV Commercial Footprints

Mix Your Media

Mix your media. Reality shows and singing competition aren't everything.
Don't be a hypnotized zombie. Broaden your knowledge.

Watch some PBS. Melting ice caps. Asteroids from space. The next huge California quake. The bad mortgages collapse. Your lying ex-President ("
Bush's War"). Congressional sellout to the lobbyists. Find out how you are being sold down the river, at every turn. Corporate votes have replaced people votes, because of lobbyist money. Ralph Nader is right on. Do something about it. Or, at least be aware of it.

The opinions expressed above are solely those of the author. Your views may differ.

Understatement of the Century -
The author may have seen one-too-many TV commercials.



top of page

Have A Great Day!
Vaughn Aubuchon Author Bio

Vaughn's Summaries
©2008, 2020 Vaughn Aubuchon
All Rights Reserved
Site Map

This Vaughns How To Watch TV
page was last updated on 2020-05-07.