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Injustices, Irritations

Phony Marketing Tag Lines
by Vaughn Aubuchon

A common tactic used in the marketing world is to create a tag line, which presents your WEAKEST attribute as your strongest attribute.

This is illustrated in the tag line list below, which I compiled from the Internet.

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Phony Tag Lines List

Company

Tag Line

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The Truth

A. T. & T.

"Greatest coverage"

NO WAY - Verizon Rules nationwide

Barack Obama

"Change we can believe in."

Change that will never happen
due to Obama, the corporate Stepin Fetchit
Guantanamo, secret torture prisons in SCORES of countries, free reign to the criminal bankers, Wall Street crooks, etc.

Capital One

"What's in YOUR wallet?"

Money. Not your crappy, high-interest card.

Fox News

"Fair and balanced."

Biggest lie ever.
"We distort, you decide."

GE

"We bring good things to life."

Like Fukushima Reactor #1?
Like Fukushima Reactors #2, #3 and #4?

Geico

"15 minutes can save you 15% or more"

I tried it - Geico quoted me a figure that was OVER 200% of what I have been paying. Who do you think pays for their massive TV advertising program? YOU do. Twice as much, on average.

HLN

"You won't miss a moment."
"You won't miss a SINGLE moment."
"You won't miss a KEY moment."
What the he|| is it?

And, "You won't miss a thing."

(Same as the Casey Anthony trial)

You will miss TONS of moments. Commercials have 100% priority.
"You won't miss a minute." Which is it - A moment or a minute? A moment is 2 seconds, a minute is 60 seconds.

Now, we have the phony, superimposed "pause button".
"We are going to hit the Play button". Gag me.

The SCREAMING PROOF of this BULL is the fact that they say it ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, dozens of times. Apologizing for something that they DON'T DO! Yeah, right.

"If you missed anything ..." I didn't miss a damned thing - YOU DID! Fess up, you purveyors of endless spoofing!

An IC company

"We have the quietest parts."

Their parts were the noisiest in the world, bar none.

Las Vegas

"What happens here, stays here"

Unless it's biological or legal.

TruTV

"Not reality, Actuality" (which on this channel means "acted")

Has the most phony shows on TV.
Scripted, poorly acted silliness.
Hardcore Pawn, Lizard Lick Towing,, Operation Repo, South Beach Tow, Southern Fried Sting, etc.

U. S. Army

"Be all you can be."

An order-taking, unthinking trained killer.

Virginia Slims

"You've come a long way, baby."

Custom cancer sticks, just for you.

Wells Fargo

"Together we'll go far"

Together, we will foreclose on you.

Zeitgeist

"Don't do evil"

Unless it pays well.

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This Vaughns Phony Tag Lines summary
was last updated on 2015-06-02.