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Language Summaries
British English

How to Speak British (Limey)
by Vaughn Aubuchon

Here is a list highlighting the puhvuhshun of the English language by British speakers.

"Two people, separated by a common language."


1. The British "R" Affectations
1-1. - Add "R" to the end of words ending in "A"
1-2. - Drop the R at the END of a word
1-3. - Drop the -ER from the END of a word
1-4. - Drop the R in the MIDDLE of a word
1-5. - Drop the R in the MIDDLE and END of a word
1-6. - Drop the R at the BEGINNING of a word

2. Don't like the vowel? Just chynge it!

3. British Singular Group Tense
   Singular words treated as plural
   Agreement in number of subject and verb

4. Thoughts on British Pronunciation

5. American Commercials Limey Talkers
.

300

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1. The "R Affectation" -
The Brits seem to be
conflicted about the letter "R".

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1-1. The British like to ADD an R

to the END of words ending in A
Word

AMERICAN
Pronunciation

BRITISH
Pronunciation

area

area

air-re-er

Asia

A-zhu

A-zhure (CNN)

Africa

Af-ri-ca

Af-ri-cur (CNN)

America

A-mer-i-ca

A-mer-i-cur (CNN)

Andromeda

An-drom-e-da

An-drom-e-der

Cuba

Cu-ba

Cu-ber (CNN)

Florida

Flo-ri-da

Flo-ri-der

idea

i-dee-a

i-dear

Korea

Kor-ee-ah

Kor-ee-ur (CNN)

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1-2. The British like to DROP the R

at the END a word.
Word

AMERICAN
Pronunciation

BRITISH
Pronunciation

after

af-ter

off-tah (CNBC)

bare

bare

beh, bey-ah

car

car

cah

care

care

keh (History Channel)

ever

ever

evva (Outback Steak.)

far

far

fah

fair

fair

feh (History Channel)

fear

fear

feh, fee-ah

hair

hair

heh, hay-ah

her

her

huh (AHC)

nature

nature

na-cha (History Channel)

near

near (n + ear)

nih, nee-ah

park

park

pock

tear

tare

teh

Off-tah a wock, pok huh cah nih the wah-tah. WHAT?

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1-3. The British like to DROP the -ER

at the END a word, and replace it with an "a".
Word

AMERICAN
Pronunciation

BRITISH
Pronunciation

anger

ang-ger

an-ga

butter

but-ter

but-tah

cleaner

clean-er

cleena (Dysan)

discover

discover

discuva (Ancestry.com)

doctor

doc-tor

doc-tuh

father

fa-ther

fa-tha

master

master

masta, mastuh

mother

mo-ther

mo-tha

October

oc-toe-ber

oc-toe-buh

September

sep-tem-ber

sep-tem-buh

spinster

spin-ster

spin-sta

water

wah-ter

wah-tuh

weather

wea-ther

weatha (Oscars)

100

120

170 - 450

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1-4. The British like to DROP the R

in the MIDDLE of a word.
Word

AMERICAN
Pronunciation

BRITISH
Pronunciation

apart

a-part

a-pot

beers

beers

bizz

birth

birth

buth (Ancestry.com)

carts

carts

cots

chart

chart

chott (CNBC)

dark

dark

dock

darts

darts

dots

dirt

dirt

dutt (Amer-Spin Mop)

earth

urrth

uhth

first

first

fust

girl

gir-il

gull (Jean Brody)*

guards

gards

gods

harm

harm

hom

heart

hart

hot

important

im-por-tant

impotent (History Chan.)

March

March

Motch

market

mar-kit

mock-it (CNBC)

motor

mo-tor

mo-ta (Jude Law)

more

more

mow (KQED)

part

part

pot (CNBC)

person

person

puss-in (CNBC)

nurse

nurse

nuss

pleasure

pleasure

plea-zha (History Chan.)

purse

purse

pus

records

records

recods (Ancestry.com)

report

report

repot (CNBC)

search area

search area

such air-ree-er (MSNBC)

shard

shard

shod (Jude Law)

stars

stars

stozz

start

start

stott (AHC)

thirty

thir-ty

thuht-ee (CNBC, AHC)

were

were

wuh (AHC)

work

work

wuck

world

world

wuld

worse

worse

wuss (History Channel)

worst

worst

wust (CNBC)

yard

yard

yod

years

years

yizz

Exception:

coun-try

cun-tie
Can't drop THIS R!

* Exactly like Maggie in "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie"
Fuh yizz on uhth, offtah dock, wuldly gulls drink bizz at wuck. WHAT?

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130

170 - 450

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1-5. Double-dose - The British drop the R

in the Middle AND End of a word
Word

AMERICAN
Pronunciation

BRITISH
Pronunciation

barter

barter

bah-tah

cheeseburger

cheese bur-ger

cheese bugga (Papa John's)

martyr

mar-ter

mah-tah

partner

part-ner

pot-nah

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1-6. The British like to DROP the R

at the Beginning of a word.
Word

AMERICAN
Pronunciation

BRITISH
Pronunciation

army

army

om-mee (History Chan.)

art

art

ott

What is the British unwritten general rule?
If an R IS present, don't pronounce it!
Where an R does not exist after the final "a" of a word, add one. Always.

.

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110

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2. Don't like the vowel?
Just CHYNGE it!

(Who needs rules?)

Word

AMERICAN
Pronunciation

BRITISH
Pronunciation

2000 A.D.

2000 A.D.

2000-I-Die

aircraft

air-craft

eh-croft

can't

can't

kont (History Channel)

caves

caves

khives (H2-ancient)

change

change

chynge (History Chan.)

communicate

communicate

commumi-kite (NASA Files)

landscape

land-scape

lond-scype (History Chan.)

pain

pain

pine (Dr. Oz)

saying

say-ing

sigh-ing (SCI Chan.)

spacecraft

space-craft

spyce-croft (NASA Files)

Spain

Spain

Spine

strange

strange

strynge (NASA Files)

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110

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3. No Singular Group Tense

Another British Anomaly -
There can be NO SINGULAR WORD that can represent a GROUP.

The PLURAL verb number must always be used. A singular verb number is defined differently between the U.S. and Britain. In the U.S., a singular verb is used when the subject noun is singular. In England, a plural verb is used, if the singular noun represents a group of more than one.

British Can't Group

YE GODS! This drives me nuts!
Green Bay Edge
S Out, Green Bay EdgeS Out! Holy verb number, Batman.
We are discussing a SINGLE team, not all the residents of Green Bay.

SINGLE Words,which contain multiple objects

AMERICAN
Singular Verb Usage

.
BRITISH
Plural Verb Usage

Google

Google says use links.

Google say use links.

Microsoft

Microsoft does search well.

Microsoft do search well.

group

The group says no.

The group say no.

company

The company sells trash.

The company sell trash.

school

The school says no.

The school say no.

-

USA is more highly evolved ?
The British are incapable of grouping multiple objects into a name of a group, which is a SINGULAR term.

Google is ONE company, etc.

This usage sounds just plain daft to Americans, and drives us crazy.

Dedicated to ancient concepts, cannot move forward.

No matter what the noun is, the verb number is ALWAYS plural.

Singular Subjects

Often, a person may think that a subject noun is plural, because it refers to a group of individuals, but the word "group" itself is SINGULAR, as opposed to "groups". Some examples are group, company, club, organization, BBC, FBI, CIA, Google, etc. All are singular, but are used with a plural verb in Brit-speak.

Incorrect

Correct

Google are going to take over the world (British speaker)
Google is going to take over the world (US speaker).

Incorrect

Correct

The people at Google is going to take over the world.
The people at Google are going to take over the world.

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150

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4. Thoughts on
British Pronunciation

On British Pronunciation
I have known and liked many former British subjects over the years, starting with my friend Nigel in 1954, on Mentone Ave. Also, I have known many others in my work experience. NOT ONE of these folks spoke with the British "R affectation".

I have watched many old British movies on TV. NONE of the folks in these movies spoke with the "R affectation".

To me, it seems like the R affectation was recently invented in England, by certain Brits who are trying to infuse a sophistication to their language, not otherwise present. Unfortunately, Americans hear this affectation as haughty and condescending, a form of pseudo-sophistication. It makes one feel that one is being "spoken down to", by some superior entity. It is offensive, and annoying.

The Brit-Speak Invyzhun of Americur
Hearing the British speak this way in England does not bother me. BUT, when I can't watch my damned American telly, without it being invaded by the R affectation on many, many channels, I get piffed off. Lose the phony talkers. I want to hear American English spoken in the American media. NOT haughty Bostonian limey talk.

CNBC, CNN, Russia Today - it is now everywhere. Even commercials - Dyson, Outback, Geico - people HATE the little piffhead gecko. I find him EXTREMELY annoying. I don't want any Outback "stike". My remote control is getting more use now than evva.
.

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5. Limey Actors Invade
American Commercials

New Trend - Use limey talkers in American Commercials, AND as talking heads.

What advertisers SEEM to think -
--- Limey talkers sound more sophisticated, and will make Americans want to buy the product, so that they may also be among the "elite". "Bostonian" also fits this "dropped R" affectation.
.

What Americans REALLY think -
--- Americans dislike limey accents, and reject them for sounding Haughty, Phony, and Pseudo-sophisticated. In America, we want American spoken, not some freakish, affected, MINORITY dialect spoken overseas. Americans also do not want to be "spoken down to", and that's the way it always sounds. ALWAYS.
.

AHC - "American Hero Channel"
US company, US TV channel
"Chock full" of limey narrators. Repugnant, because it is the AMERICAN Hero Channel. WTH?

Atkins Diet
- US company, US ad,
Limey talker Sharon Osbourne
Low cobs, leeda, stohve, bozz (bars)

Ancestors.com - US company, US ad,
Limey talker for American ancestez? Huh? Reckods

BASF - German company, US ad,
Limey talker - ShaRe! - Not "sheh"

CNN
- US company, US TV
Late night gives us the limey tag-team of Isha Sesay and her cohort. Isha reeks of limey haughtiness. She once lectured us on how SHE spoke was correct, and the rest of us were wrong - shed-joule. Someone needs to tell this woman that limey English speakers are in the MINORITY, as opposed to NON-LIMEY English speakers. i.e., 320 million in the US, alone. Haughty, haughty, haughty. Now, I always mute her IMMEDIATELY. The absolute WORST limey-talker on TV, with attitude, because of her effing arrogance. What the he|| is CNN thinking? Can't find an American speaaker? C'mon.

Cottonelle
- US company, US ad
Limey spokespussin
we osked, bauthroom, exputz, bettah, mumaid

Dyson - Codless! 5,000 Hutz. Paytented.
Set us apot. Coppets. Hod floes.
HEY! You are selling in Americur.

Gotham Steel - US company, US ad,
Limey talker Daniel Green
Check out this Smozz recipe. Dizzostah.
I don't want any "Potty Dip". EVVA!

Geiko - US company, US ad,
Limey talking Gecko - Repugnant
The most hated limey evva conceived. I wouldn't use Geiko if it were FREE!
Numba 1 MOST OBNOXIOUS product spokesperson.

Infinity - US company, US ad,
"A Caw should be measured by one thing." Yeah, right. The sound a crow makes.

Jaguar - British company, US ad
Limey spokespussin. In America, Jaguar has TWO syllables, NOT 3 as in Britain. And I do not eva want to buy a Spoats Caw.

Lexus - Japan company, US ad
Limey spokespussin. WHY?
not heh to ubzuve, leave a mock, natural oda

Outback - You are selling in Americur.
No "stike" for me. Speak US English in the US.

Oxyclean - US company, US ad,
Limey Talker Anthony Sullivan
fust, powah, culluz, detuggent, Fights odah

Panera - US company, US ad,
"Limey talker Garson
"Ahh hero is"
"Should be slupped with gusto"
Limey accent to sell Mexican bread, in Americur ?

Quickbooks - US company, US ad
Limey spokespussin. WHY?
even wusse, twice as fossed

Sensodyne - US company, US ad
Limey spokespussin. WHY?
wucking, healthcah, yizz, pusseption

TCM - US company, US ad,
Alas, even my favorite channel has gone LIMEY! Selling CALIFORNIA wine to AMERICANS, using an effete hyphenated limey snob, under the far-fetched assumption that only CERTAIN wine should be consumed while watching a given AMERICAN movie. Highly offensive. Now they have switched to a limey woman. A poor decision. Better to use a 2nd generation Italian Californian, if you are seeking authenticity.

Trivago - US company, US ad
Limey spokespussin. WHY?
and such, cumpeh, fuh you

Viagra - Limey cougar - For the first 2 models, there ain't enough Viagra in the bloomin' wuld. Plus the haughty Bostonian accent. YIKES! The third one, the blonde, might do the job. Finally, an actress that doesn't actually INDUCE ED. And the 4th one! Looks like they are catching on.

Viking Cruises - US company, US ad,
Sailing through the hot (heart) of historic cities,
junneys, landmocks, on boad, rivah, theh, uhth, wuld

Xyzel
- US company, US ad
Limey spokespussin. WHY?
hour twenty-foe, ova the counta
.

When the MAJORITY Gets It Wrong

Ben - den, hen, jen, ken, men, pen, ten, yen

Been - keen, peen, seen, teen, ween (here, the limey speak seems CORRECT, to me, logically. It looks like Americans get this wrong.)

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DISCLAIMER
The opinions expressed are those of the author, and he alone. The American media is being invaded by British speakers. The author is tired of it.

Puvvutted, "funny-talk" may be fine for the UK, but in the United States, we speak "straight" AMERICAN English, without the screwball affectations. Wuldwide, theh ahh fah mo of us than you.

The Geico gecko has done irreparable harm to American-British relations. The obnoxious little green twit has been jammed down our throats about 10,000 times too many.

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Summary was last updated on 2017-06-19.