Media Consumption

Art/ Entertainment Summaries

Some people think that it is easy to watch TV. It is not. It is a test of skill. You MUST AVOID obnoxious ads.



RULE #1.
You must not attempt to watch TV without The Remote Control in your left hand, most of the time, if you are right-handed.

RULE #2.
If you can't manage RULE #1, at least make sure that the Remote Control is within inches of your left hand at all times.

RULE #3.
Ad Avoidance
The mute button is the greatest invention in all the history of mankind. Use it mercilessly. ALWAYS mute every commercial. You have already seen 2,000 hours of this drivel. There used to be a law about requiring the volume of the commercial to be no louder than the program. That law is OBVIOUSLY no longer enforced. Don't tolerate this for one second. ZAP them instantly. The most obnoxious ads of all are the car commercials, which ALWAYS turn up the volume 12 decibels. The Nissan Rogue commercial has the most obnoxious sound of all.

The worst "zap immediately" obnoxious commercials -
1. Every car commercial, (except ELO's "Hang On Tight to Your Dreams")
2. The guy who screams in your face throughout the entire commercial
3. The self-chest-caressing narcissistic guru of exercise videos - gag me
I DON'T EVER WANT TO LISTEN TO ANY OF THESE COMMERCIALS ONE MORE TIME!!!
How about you?

RULE #4.
Person Avoidance
Some television personalities I simply cannot stand.
My personal "zap immediately" personalities -
1. The browbeating, condescending nurse Ratchet of financial advice
2. The ever-perfect, insult-hurling, chip-on-the-shoulder judge from He||
3. Bill O'Reilly (better yet, avoid FOX News entirely)
4. Sean Hannity (better yet, avoid FOX News entirely)
FOX News, by far, has the biggest collection of idiots on television. These purveyors of conservative propaganda are always complaining about the "liberal media", which no longer exists. They are a collection of disingenuous, highly-paid, corporate lackeys, whose job is to propagandize you, not inform you.

RULE #5.
Be attentive and poised to hit the (Un)Mute Button as soon as the 6 or 8 commercials are over. This ensures that you will not miss any of the program.

RULE #6.
Mix your media. Reality shows and singing competition aren't everything.
Don't be a hypnotized zombie. Broaden your knowledge.

Watch some PBS. Melting ice caps. Asteroids from space. The next huge California quake. The bad mortgages collapse. Your lying President ("Bush's War"). Congressional sellout to the lobbyists. Find out how you are being sold down the river, at every turn. Corporate votes have replaced people votes, because of lobbyist money. Ralph Nader is right on. Do something about it. Or, at least be aware of it.

RULE #7.
Try the Aubuchon technique (mine). (You must be alone to use this technique, or you will drive others around you crazy). If you are seriously watching TV, and not also online, as I usually am, tell yourself forcefully, NO COMMERCIALS. As soon as any commercial whatsoever comes on, immediately advance to the next channel in the sequence, whether it is sequential, or your own selected list.

This technique has 5 advantages -
1. You never have to listen to a commercial, saving 14 minutes per hour for other info
2. You never get bored.
3. You broaden your horizons, and are not as ill-informed as previously
4. You will get exposed to things you would not normally see
5. You are far less likely to enter an hypnotic trance.

or, on the other hand, you could just go to

RULE #8.
Just go to Turner Classic Movies, and tune in to Robert Osborn. No commercials, except short ones for even better movies coming up soon. Drift back into time, and see how others lived 50 to 80 years ago - and how the movies reflected the times. Far out.

Some people think that it is easy to surf the Internet. It is not. You need to AVOID obnoxious flashing ads.

The freaking flashing ads are obnoxious AND, unlike TV, ever-present. There is no "commercial break". Therefore, you must take action to get the ads to STOP FLASHING IN YOUR FACE, as soon as they appear. If you don't, the flashing will drive you crazy, as you try to read the text. Just like someone poking you with a stick every 2 seconds.

TRICK #1.
Use a browser with a popup blocker, such as Firefox. This will help to avoid some obnoxious ads.

TRICK #2.
Try moving your mouse cursor over the slider in your scrolling bar, and holding down the button. This stops the vexatious motion of flashing ads on some web pages.

TRICK #3.
If the ad is at "X" at the top of the page, simply scroll down past it, until it is out of site, off the top of the screen.



Another method is to move the flashing obnoxious ad off screen, by grabbing the window at the top of the frame, and dragging the window (and ad) off of the screen. Here are two examples -

TRICK #4.
To avoid an obnoxious flashing ad on the LEFT-hand side of the screen, place your cursor over the top right of the Title Bar, push down and while holding down, drag your mouse to the left, then release the button. This action slides the left side of the window off the screen to the left, where it cannot be seen.

TRICK #5.
To avoid the obnoxious ad on the RIGHT-hand side of the screen, grab the window at the top left, and slide the whole window to the right.

Almost all the biggest news sites require Trick #3, immediately followed by Trick #5. First, move the top obnoxious ad off the screen by scrolling down. Then, move the right-hand side obnoxious ad off the screen, by dragging the window to the right. NOW, you can read the text in peace, minus the vexing distractions. Aaaahhhhhhhh.
.
.

The best way to avoid obnoxious ads which flash, is to avoid web pages that use them, entirely.
When surfing Google news, some news sites blast your face off with ads, while others have no ads at all. Since the big news stories appear on many sites, you may as well pick a site that does not scream flashing ads in your face.

Google, MSN and and Yahoo ads are fine, since they don't blast you senseless with unwanted screen motion. It is the ads from other companies that I am referring to.

NO ADS - The Best	Less Obnoxious Ads	Totally Obnoxious Flashing Ads	Ads Above Fold
Aljazeera	Bloomberg (self ads)	ABC News	2
Associated Press (most)	CNN (1 ad)	Boston Globe (plus popups)	2
BBC	Guardian (self ads)	Christian Science Monitor	2
Voice of America		Denver Post	2
		FOX News	2
		Int. Herald Tribune (plus popups)	2
		Los Angeles Times	2
		MSNBC	2
		New York Daily News	2
		Reuters	2
		San Jose Mercury News	3
		The Independent (plus popups)	2
		UPI	2
		USA Today (plus popups)	2
		Washington Post (plus popups)	2
There is no reason to read the Washington Post, when you can read the same article at the BBC, with NO ads. I am prejudiced - I will always pick the British option - either the BBC, or the Guardian - two of the best, who actually allow you to read the text in peace, without RUDELY beating you senseless.   Online newspaper web site readership is sharply down. I can guess why. They all seem to think that annoying the he|| out of you, is the best way to go. They are wrong. In their lust for the almighty buck, they ruin the entire experience, and drive you away. DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed above are solely those of the author. Your views may differ.

top of page